Early morning swim.

I love my bed, especially in the morning. I spend an incredibly long time in bed, especially on weekdays, to eek out every last second in the downy comfort. So last night when I retired, I resolved to get up early in the morning to swim before work. Even though I was firmly resolute, I have to be honest and say that it would not have been the first time I would have made such a promise to myself and yet when the rooster crowed, metaphorically speaking, would have continued to snooze on. 

This morning though, when the alarm rang at 6am, I snapped wide awake and was determined to go to the gym. 

As I walked into the pool, the smell of chlorine and the quiet slap of water generated by the other swimmers instantly generated a calmness in me. As soon as I got in, the feel of the water was soothing as I alternately lapped in freestyle and breastroke. Afterwards I felt invigorated, yet strangely relaxed and serene, as I drove to work.

I would like to end the blog there, leaving the impression that my day continued in this vein. However, this impression of perfection would be false. In a day full of meetings and urgent email, I totally did not see this self induced serenity suddenly disappearing when I least expected it just before lunch.

It was a lesson to me that I cannot be perfect. My struggle to be the model of good health, discipline and perfection is something I will not obtain. But I can aspire to it and not be too hard on myself for rarely, if ever, achieving it.

So, when I got home and 8pm and tiredly started to prepare dinner, I almost wept with gratitude when Mr BB ordered takeaway. I only ate 3 slices of pizza, which is definitely an improvement. In the past I would have beaten myself up for effectively negating the benefits of the swim, at the very least. This time, instead, I decided to consider all of the other benefits I'd experienced, and be glad at least I had gone.