Do you ever feel you put yourself last just to help other people? A lot of my job requires that type of commitment, but I don't usually mind as I love it and find it rewarding. However, this has been a tough week. I have done my best to support someone in my team, even down to staying behind 3 times this week to meet with and and help them. But they don't want to seem to help themselves.
Tonight they moaned, when I was trying to do with them something they were asked to do but didn't. 'The thing is,' they said a touch defensively, 'if I'm not totally committed to something than I don't put my full effort in'. I tried to ignore the complete arrogance of this remark, to continue to get the work done, to help them structure their time. They were, after all, a new trainee in the job and just learning.
But then when they complained that they don't have time to go to the gym anymore and do what they wanted to do because of the job, I was furious. A 29 yr old complaining that the job was too much work? When they were doing half the time of most of us and couldn't even be bothered to try to do things they were asked to do? When every request was meet with another excuse as to why they couldn't do it-after all, how can they be expected to work in a room without a window? (Not that they had to work in that room- they could work in any number of rooms, with any shape and size of window!) Did they think that I really wanted to be there doing their work- yet I wasn't complaining and not putting all my effort in for them. They were utterly oblivious to this, however, and ungrateful.
I went home eventually, very late, tired and discouraged. But while I was sitting on the couch after a reviving cup of tea, I resolved not to let them drag me down. So I threw on swimmers and got to the pool just before they took last entries, and swam furiously for half an hour, determined they would not be my excuse.
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